Vampires Suck

Going to an all-girls school, we hear constant chatter of “girl things,” whether it may be boy bands, hair, clothes, Bellarmine boys and yes, even vampires. I wish I didn’t have to say it, but it’s true. And it didn’t stop at Twilight. This obsession with all things supernatural has gone from books to movies to television. Walking down the hallway you will also see it used as locker decorations.

Though it’s harder to imagine how Pres girls even find time to watch television anymore, the shows on TV aren’t even that great. If it’s not reality TV, its supernatural for most teens. It’s so hard to keep up with all of them!

Some shows include True Blood, Vampire Diaires, Teen Wolf, Death Valley, Supernatural, Being Human, The Secret Circle, Nine Lives of Chloe King, and this isn’t including all the previous shows already made and cancelled when our generation was still watching Barney and Friends.

Networks, actors, and advertisers have been trying to bank on teenage girls and their obsession with vampires, werewolves and any guy with cut abs since Twilight. I thought this phase in our society ended a few years ago. But apparently we still haven’t had enough.

Thanks to shows like Vampire Diaries and True Blood, we’ve become obsessed with the idea of some blood suckers fighting for our attention.

Many things factor into the allure of the supernatural. The first one is obvious– have you ever seen an ugly vampire? Didn’t think so. Vampires are mysterious, attractive, immortal, and exclusive. If you are the lucky “chosen girl” to hang out with them, you’re almost in for good and you’re defiantly special. Werewolves are different. They’re warm and protective, and they seem sensitive like a loyal dog.

For whichever reason, teenage girls seem to easily swoon over these mythical creatures. I’ve had enough! I’m not saying all vampires shows “suck” but do we really need more on television and in the theaters than we already have?

Unless someone comes out with a completely different angle of these supernatural ideas–which I don’t see happening anytime soon, though I don’t doubt the attempts–no more! I’m sick and tired of seeing so many commercials, advertisements and constant chatter about these vamps–especially when half of these shows are remakes and end up getting cancelled by the first season anyway.

If you somehow do find time to spare, please don’t spend it brain washing yourself and torturing the rest of your family by watching these mindless, stupid television shows where the vampires are cheesy and the teen love is unrealistic.

 

Vampire Overdrive

From the glittering body of Edward to the super strength and muscles of Stefan Salvatore, the screens are being flooded with vampires. In fact, the hottest question today isn’t Have you checked your Facebook yet, but What’s your favorite vampire show? But maybe it should be When will vampires finally go away?

The success of the Twilight franchise–having reached $298 million in ticket sales in the United States alone, according to Box Office Mojo–has clearly made these supernatural creatures a cinematic draw. Stephanie Meyer’s vision of gentle, sparkly vampires who protect humans has led the way for a plethora of TV shows featuring impossibly beautiful, undead characters who regularly interact with humans.

First up is Vampire Diaries, which airs on The CW on Thursdays. The Salvatore brothers–Stefan (Paul Wesley) and Damon (Ian Somerhalder)–have returned to Mystic Falls and wreak havoc on the small town. The two are in a messy love triangle with the beautiful Elena, played by Nina Dobrev. Surrounding the hot trio are even more hot actors and lots of good human drama, including car crashes, attempted suicides and destroyed friendships. The upcoming season will bring more of the same, but with the addition of the evil Katherine, who was recently released from a tomb.

The popular new show The Gates airs on ABC on Sundays at 10/9 c. It is just another story going along with the overused vampire fad this season. It reveals the secret life of a community of supernatural residents with an overflow of heart-wrenching secrets. The characters range from Claire (Rhona Mitra), the vampire resisting the urge to drink human blood, to Brett (Colton Haynes), the over-dramatic popular boy who has a streak of running with wolves. This show goes over the top on the idea of mystery and fantasy. It incorporates the poisonous girl in love with the boy next door and a secret desire that cannot be fulfilled.

The HBO-produced True Blood is written by Tommy Stewart and airs on HBO on Sundays at 9 p.m. It is another hugely popular adult vampire show, although it is probably not one many teenagers have seen due to the abundance of sex, campy as they may be. “True Blood” is not a traditional vampire show, but does play along with the long overused idea of passion as a common theme in vampire’s lives. There are numerous gorgeous actors that never seem to keep their clothes on for more than one episode. This show supports the idea that vampires are being overused and dramatized far longer than many people are willing to put up with. This show follows the life of Sookie Stackhouse (played by Anna Paquin), a mind reader who is living a life full of vampires. The vampires in her society all publicly revealed themselves to society just two years earlier. This show features many surprising characters including Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell) a shapeshifter; Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten) Sookie’s older brother; and Tara Thornton (Rutina Wesley), her long-time best friend with a knack for controlling other’s emotions.

The vampire craze has gotten so out of hand that the inevitable spoofs have begun. The new movie Vampires Suck is a spoof on the Twilight saga. Directed by Jason Friedberg, it is a comedy that tells the tale of a girl named Becca Crane in love with two supernatural boys. Vampires Suck incorporates a number of hysterical scenes, one of which is based on the feud between team Edward and team Jacob, revealing the obsessions of so many teenage girls across the world. Vampires Suck is not a must see movie of the year but if you are looking for a light laugh make sure to rent it when it comes out on DVD.

The vampire era has lasted long enough and it is time for it to come to an end. It is time producers come up with a new idea because, even though vampires may live forever, these shows are far past their expiration date.

Summer Movies Preview

So many new movies are coming out this summer, but which ones are worth seeing? This dilemma is always plaguing us, but now we have recommendations. So when you are sitting there during summer vacation and do not know what to do with those boundless hours without homework, consider these. Movies are a great way to get together with friends and to catch up once out of school.

The Last Airbender

One movie that looks promising is The Last Airbender. This film is an adaptation from Avatar, not the James Cameron film, but the animated series on Nickelodeon. The movie is not animated like the TV show, but the story line is impressive. The nations of Air, Water, Earth and Fire are thrown out of balance when the Fire nation decides to launch a war against all the others causing destruction for over a century. A young boy named Aang discovers that he is the last avatar, which means that he is the only one left who can use all four of the elements. The movie follows Aang’s quest to save the nations from the devastation of war and to return everything to how it was before.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner are all coming back this summer with the third movie in the Twilight series: Eclipse. In this third movie, Bella is once again in danger as Victoria comes back to avenge her partner, James. Not only is she set on killing Bella, but it appears that she is hatching a dangerous plan as well. In addition to dealing with Victoria, Bella must also make the most important decision of her life: to stay human or turn into a vampire. She doesn’t have eternity to make her choice, as the Voulturi promised to pay a visit soon to see a newly transformed Bella. As a result, Bella is forced to choose between her vampire-boyfriend, Edward, and her werewolf-friend, Jacob. Go to your local theatre on June 30 to see two of the hottest actors in Hollywood in one movie!

Toy Story 3

After taking an 11-year break, Toy Story is finally coming back with its latest sequel, Toy Story 3. Of course, the movie makers are wise enough to let the long lag fall into place in the movie, as it fast forwards into Andy’s life when he is getting ready to go to college. Because Andy doesn’t play with his old toys anymore, he decides to put them in the attic. Through a misunderstanding, they end up in the trash. Thinking that Andy abandoned them, the toys try to escape. Despite their escape attempt, they are unable to reach the safety of Andy’s room and end up in a donation box headed to a daycare. At first, the toys are excited by their new life and new toy friends. However, things aren’t what they seem to be and the toys desperately try to return home – a decision they share with Andy, who realizes that his toys will always have a place in his heart, no matter how old he is. Join this fun 3-D adventure with Woody, Buzz, Jessie, Mr. Potato Head and many other of their toy friends on June 18!

　

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

For all you Disney fans out there, the conglomerate is releasing a new film this summer entitled The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Based off the segment in Fantasia where Mickey Mouse enchants the mop to clean the house, the movie takes its name from the music playing in the background of the scene, “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” by Paul Dukas. The movie tells the story of sorcerer Balthazar Blake, played by Nicholas Cage (National Treasure), who enlists the aid of an apprentice in order to defeat his arch-nemesis, Maxim Horvath (Raiders of the Lost Ark’s Alfred Molina). Blake takes on Dave Stutler (portrayed by Jay Baruchel of How to Train Your Dragon) , a normal kid with a proclivity for magic, as his apprentice, and the two must work together in order to save the world.

This movie promises to have all the fun and enchantment of Fantasia, while adding an element of reality by making it a live-action movie. It expands upon Mickey’s character and situation in the movie, allowing us to have a moment of nostalgia, connecting with a character we knew in our childhood, while giving the movie a modern and interesting twist. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice promises to be fun for the whole family, as well as a successor to the Disney movie legacy. Go see this modern-day magic story on July 16!

The Karate Kid

Loosely based on the 1980’s movies we know and love, the newest version of The Karate Kid stars Dre Parker, (played by Jaden Smith) who is moving to Beijing China with his mother (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’s Taraji P. Henson), a single mother struggling to make a living. When he arrives he discovers life is not all it’s cracked up to be in the great city. The young Dre struggles with his forbidden feelings for classmate Mei Ying and the bully Cheng. With nowhere to hide and no one else to turn to, Dre’s life starts to look pretty bleak. Then one day, he meets maintenance man Mr. Han, played by Jackie Chan (Rush Hour). The mysterious figure offers to teach Dre the ancient art of kung fu, of which he is secretly a master. His slightly odd but nevertheless effective techniques prove to be just the thing Dre needs to finally feel welcome in his new home. Meanwhile, he is always keeping his final goal in mind: defeating Cheng the bully in a national martial arts competition. Will he succeed? Check it out when it hits theaters on June 11 to find out!

Have a Good Read This Christmas Eve

This novel is a bit on the lengthy side, but it takes no time at all to plow through. It’s easy to get into, and will have you hooked by the first couple of pages. The gripping storyline includes love, betrayal, death, and, best of all, drama!

Not much for the Middle-Aged melodramas? Not to worry. Perhaps a more adventurous love story would strike your fancy. Give Annette Curtis Klause’s Blood and Chocolate a try. This is basically the exact opposite of Twilight, only strikingly similar at the same time. Instead of a male vampire falling in love with a useless mortal, Blood and Chocolate tells the story of a mysterious young werewolf who falls in love with a human boy intended to be her lunch. The two fall madly in love and face many challenges as their two worlds collide in an epic adventure. But take caution in opening up this work in the midst of finals week: you simply will not be able to put it down!

If you’d rather depart from the romance genre altogether, then Adriana Trigiani’s newest coming of age novel Viola will deliver the perfect dose of teenage angst, while at the same providing encouraging insights into the world of friendship and growing up. Shipped away from her beloved hometown of Brooklyn to a glum boarding school in the outskirts of an Indiana town, Viola is faced with a whole new world that she feels completely ill-equipped to handle. A talented film-maker, she gradually learns to stop seeing and living life through her screen and open herself up to the new experiences and friendships that await her.

If you find yourself in the mood for some classical delight, but cannot face diving into something quite as hefty as War and Peace, go for The Princess Bride. If you have seen the movie, then you know how entertaining the plot twists and character developments are. And Christmastime is always a little more enjoyable with a bit of Buttercup romance in the air. Another, perhaps heavier, romance is the newly-turned-motion-picture The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. This novel could certainly be considered more of a drama than William Goldman’s The Princess Bride, as it deals with the lessons of love and loss that a young couple encounters during their somewhat fated journey. A box of tissues might be a good idea if you pick this one up.

For more of a science fiction thriller, give Inkheart a go. The popular first installment of the planned Inkworld Trilogy, takes the reader through the many adventures of twelve-year-old Meggie Folchart, whose father possesses a special power of turning stories he reads aloud into real life. Lucky Meggie gets to travel to exotic places she reads about in books, such as Italy and many parts of Europe. If you ever were a fan of the animated film The Page Master as a little kid, this is the book for you. Another novel with a similar feel, C.S. Lewis’s famous children’s adventure tale The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, takes the reader through the closet of four young orphans, and into a magical world caught in eternal winter. It becomes the mission of this brave lot to bring the world of Narnia back to its original enchanting existence.

Some historical fiction might be the way to go if you don’t feel up to the time travelling and mythical creatures. Ann Rinaldi’s Time Enough for Drums is the story of 13-year-old Jemima Emerson living in Revolutionary War America. She finds herself torn between just about every member of her family, each of whom seems to be supporting a different war party: Patriots, Whigs, British officer, militiaman, and Continental Army soldier. This is a good read for those suffering the typical holiday season family squabbles that are typical of the holiday season.

Several decades after Jemima, comes Old Derry, the chubby old man in Edward Lear’s A Book of Nonsense. This charming collection of children’s tales is actually a compilation of limerick’s published sequentially in early nineteenth century England. Do not let the “children’s tales” turn you away, because each of Lear’s snappy poems is packed with clever twists and allusions that a wide range of age groups can appreciate.

So, now that you have a good list of choices for some great holiday reads, hit up your local bookstore – or Christmas wish list – and wipe your brain clean of any finals residue. Happy holidays!

New Moon Review: Twi Harder

As the much anticipated movie New Moon made its debut on Nov. 20, werewolves and vampires elicited not horrified screams, but hormonal ones.     Having already set a record of $26.3 million in North American midnight showings, beating out the record set by Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince­, New Moon shows undeniable promise in topping the box offices.

The film is projected to gross over $110 million this weekend.  These astoundingly high numbers, though, are no surprise due to its massive fan base that is comprised of teenage girls and Twihards alike.  At a school like Presentation where the boy-deprived dwell, it is not uncommon to hear the words “Taylor Lautner” followed by the phrase “I LOVE HIS ABS!” and it is no wonder that New Moon has been the talk of the town.  However, without its massive fan base and attractive actors, New Moon is nothing extraordinary.

The CGI effects used to create the werewolves were a tad unreal and cartoon-like, and the acting was mediocre.  Some scenes, intending to be serious, were absolutely ridiculous or cheesy to the point of hilarity.  The slow-mo’s were rather excessive because, to be honest, seeing actors Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner walk in slow motion is only entertaining after so many times.  The intently romantic gazes shared between actors and actress were somewhat awkward and again, rather humorous.  Scripting was a bit weak in some areas as the audience could not help but chuckle when Lautner, as Jacob Black, threatens the vampire Alice, played by Ashley Greene, as he states “Things are about to get very ugly.”  Really now.  Very intimidating, no?  The plotline was also disappointing, but to be expected, with its rather abrupt climax and equally abrupt ending.

Though the film did have its low points, the true question is whether or not it catered to its target audience.  The answer is an obviously resounding yes.  Though the movie may not be up to par in regards to movie and acting quality, it brings to the table what is expected.  For the fans of Pattinson and especially Lautner, New Moon is an enjoyable addition to the Twilight saga as evident in the repetitive squealing heard within the theatre every time Lautner appeared shirtless.

Overall, the movie’s appeal depends on what you are looking for.  If you’re interested in a movie with quality plot and acting, New Moon may fail to reach your standards.  However, whether you support Team Edward, Team Jacob, or even Team Volturi, for all you Twihards out there, New Moon is the perfect dose of vampire and werewolf to satisfy your thirst for the Twilight saga.

Twilight: Bane or Boon?

When I was little, I understood that scary things were only cool if you were a boy. Vampires were boy territory; there was too much blood, too much danger, and too much mystery dealing with the undead. Boy was I wrong; it took only two things for my fears to be shattered: one 498-page book called Twilight and a vampire named Edward Cullen.

For the two people in the world who don’t know, Twilight is the first book of a four-part saga written by Stephenie Meyer. It’s a beautiful story about a girl named Bella Swan and her life after falling in love with the most dangerous, attractive, and perfect creature ever described, Edward Cullen. The Twilight craze has swept through the lives of millions of people throughout the world. On our own campus, you can see girls carrying their books from class to class, trying to sneak in just more page, one more paragraph, one more sentence, one more word…

However, contrary to the belief of many critics, this series is not just an outlet for lovesick teenage girls. In fact, the Twilight industry has left a positive impact on our generation and the entertainment industry.

The Twilight Saga has truly reintroduced the beauty and power of reading a good book to many young adults. In today’s society, there is so much new technology to distract and entertain: the Internet, the TV, video games, the car, and the list goes on and on. People hardly ever bother to pick up a good book as a form of entertainment. Find that hard to believe? According to Jerold Jenkins of jenkinsgroupinc.com, one-third of high school graduates never read another book for the rest of their lives, 42 percent of college graduates never read another book after college, 80 percent of U.S. families did not buy or read a book last year, and of the new books purchased, 57 percent are not read to completion. The introduction of the Twilight Saga has definitely encouraged young adults to shatter those statistics. Meyer writes in a way that keeps readers’ eyes glued to the pages of the books, turning page after page, and never getting enough of the vampires, werewolves, and lives of the people in Forks, WA. Even people who’ve never had a knack for reading will find themselves engrossed in the story.

Some people are concerned that the book is poorly written. However, Meyer admits that she did not write these books to become a literary mastermind, but to become a well-known storyteller. She said to Entertainment Weekly, “I want to be a better writer… But I’m going to be a good storyteller.” Therefore, when reading any of the books of the Twilight Saga, you should not focus on trying to find clever uses of metaphors, complex and varied sentence structure, beautiful and elaborate detail or perfect vocabulary. The focus should be on the beauty of the story, the complex relationships between the characters and the ups and downs of their lives.

Like any good storyteller, Meyer has the power to immerse you into her story. Even if you’re not an adolescent, you’re thrown back into the world of awkward relationships, young love and new emotions. You can feel the fear running through your veins as Bella tries to escape death; you are frustrated by the confusion caused by loving an undead and dangerous creature; you can hear the pitter-patter of your heart as it beats in your chest whenever Edward is described. But because Meyer strays away from overly detailed and frivolous descriptions, she allows your mind to take over. Everyone’s perfect Edward is different. She promotes the development of a young imagination, giving young readers the power to envision their perfect world.

The novel also has strong characters that young people can look up to. Though critics may argue against this, Bella is not a weak character, nor is she a bad example for girls to be following. She is a caretaker, always looking out for the people she loves. She grew up as a mother figure to her own mother, watches out for the wellbeing and safety of her father, cares about the impact her relationship with a dangerous creature will have on her friends, and encourages Edward that he is not a monster. She hardly ever puts herself before others because she genuinely cares about them. Also, she teaches girls not to be shallow—look past the outer shell of a person and learn to try to truly understand them. She looks past the stereotypical image of a vampire and understand that Edward is a person with a soul; he does not have to put up façade to be a loving human being.

Boys too can learn from the world of Twilight. Edward is the model of the ideal boyfriend and gentleman. Not only will you love him and his romantic and passionate nature, his intellectual prowess, his musical genius and his chiseled abs, but also your parents and grandparents will approve of him. He upholds his own traditional family values and respects the opinions of the people in Bella’s life. He preaches a message of chastity and therefore does not agree to succumb to pre-marital sex. He believes in “protecting his virtue” until after they get married. This teaches guys everywhere that you can have a strong, loving and successful relationship with someone of the opposite gender without the pressure of sexual relations. No matter what happens, the only thing Edward wants is for Bella to be happy. In the third book to the series, Eclipse, Edward understands Bella’s love for her best friend Jacob, who helped Bella mend her emotional state after Edward disappears from her life. Edward says to her, “I’m not going to make you choose between us. Just be happy, and you can have whatever part of me you want, or none at all, if that’s better” (535). He looks out for her best interests, even if it means he will have to suffer.

In the words of senior Erin Kelm, “Twilight is so good you can’t even explain how good it is.” So go out and pick up a copy of any of the books in the Twilight Saga and be sure catch a showing of the upcoming movie, New Moon, to immerse yourself in the worlds of Bella and Edward. Because who wants to be a helpless princess when you can be an indomitable vampire?

Bane:

As you are walking through the halls you hear a conversation among your fellow Presentation students, “Why would you like Jacob? He’s immature; Edward is much better for Bella!” Sadly enough, the names are all you need to know to realize that those girls are discussing the Twilight saga, which has become a juggernaut in popular culture.

The book is written through the perspective of Bella Swan, who falls in love with the mystifying vampire named Edward Cullen. On the surface, it is a clichéd, although seemingly harmless, love story between a tortured “bad boy” figure and the innocent protagonist. But if you were to think about the content, you would see that young, impressionable girls should not be reading these books.

When Bella Swan first arrives at Forks High School, she is welcomed by many, but chooses to ignore them. Instead of making an effort to meet people, she feels that her stay in Forks is pointless and miserable until she sets her eyes on the illustrious Edward Cullen. From the beginning, their relationship is based solely on sexual attraction. Bella doesn’t speak to Edward the first day; nonetheless, he envelops her thoughts for the rest of the series.

Stephanie Meyer is quoted saying that she loves novels by Jane Austen, Emily Bronte and Charlotte Bronte, but instead of emulating their strong, independent female leads, she has created a character that is incapable of being without a man.

Throughout the novel, Bella is constantly playing the role of damsel in distress. In fact, without Edward saving her, Bella would have been hit by a truck in the school parking lot shortly after arriving in Forks. If that didn’t kill her, she would have been raped by a group of scary men while on a shopping trip with friends. Apparently, this protagonist is not smart enough to stay out of dark alleyways or walk away from a group of drunks.

On one of the rare occasion that she does decide to make her own decisions in Twilight, Bella ends up leaving Edward’s family, her only source of protection against a bad vampire, to confront said vampire on her own. Putting your own life at risk to make a deal with a vampire you know is evil is not the best idea. In fact, this is yet another situation where Bella ends up needing Edward to rescue her.

As the relationship between Edward and Bella evolves, it becomes more abusive than loving. He displays almost all of the signs of an abusive relationship including jealousy, possessiveness, a need for control, isolating her from her friends, losing his temper, claiming she is responsible for his emotional state and earning the disapproval of her family.

When Edward breaks up with Bella at the beginning of New Moon, four months pass before Bella can function. Her relationship with Edward has left her without any friends. As soon as they started going out, Bella was solely devoted to him. After finding out the he craves her blood, Bella was willing to go deep into the forest, alone with him. She even thought, “What was my other choice—to cut him out of my life? Intolerable. Besides, since I’d come to Forks, it really seemed like my life was about him” (251). She was willing to risk her life to spend a romantic afternoon with a boy she barely knew.

When Bella wants to continue her friendship Jacob in Eclipse, Edward goes as far as to take the engine out of her car to stop her from visiting him. He claims that he was protecting her from werewolves that cannot be trusted. However, his own brother, who tried to attack her in the previous book, is allowed to be around her. When she wants to comfort Jacob, Edward says, “You know it’s out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want us to start a war?” (27). He is making her feel guilty so she will cut off all relations with her only remaining friend.

She doesn’t even recognize that she has been completely cut off from friends and family. When her dad tries to warn her about Edward saying, “I want you to stay away from him, Bella. I don’t trust him. He’s rotten for you. I won’t let him mess you up like that again” (545), she continues by telling him that she will move out if he makes her break up with Edward. This is sending the message to young girls that you shouldn’t listen to your parents if they warn you about your boyfriend. Bella didn’t listen to her dad and she’s now a happily married vampire.

She “loves” Edward so much in New Moon that she even said, “You can have my soul. I don’t want it without you—it’s yours already!” (69). She is begging him to turn her into a vampire, so that she can leave her family and friends and be with him forever. They had known each other about a year and had not yet had a deep conversation, except of course, when he explained that she was his brand of heroin. These novels are telling girls that this toxic relationship is what they should be striving for. Instead, they need to learn that contrary to what pop culture shows us; true love doesn’t involve addiction and rehab.