Think Before You Speak

“Hey Mom, I took such a retarded test today! The questions were so gay! I couldn’t believe how difficult it was! It totally raped me! What! Now I can’t go out with my friends? Gosh, Mom, you’re being such a Nazi!” Have you ever said anything like this before? A lot of times, as teenagers, we really don’t watch what comes out of our mouths until it’s too late to take back what we said. Sometimes, the things we say can be really offensive and hurtful to others, even if we don’t intend them to.

Oftentimes, people use the words “retarded” and “gay” as synonyms to the word “stupid.” If any readers know of anyone who has a mental disability, then they know how wrong and hurtful it is to say something like this. In a desperate fit of frustration sitting in front of a malfunctioning computer, one of the things we may call it is “retarded.” But could you ever imagine yourself saying something like this in front of someone else who has a mental disability? It just isn’t fair to use terms like these if we cannot relate to these issues on a personal level.

In the same way, being a homosexual is not equivalent to being stupid. A person’s sexual preference has nothing to do with their intelligence. Some of the world’s greatest leaders and intellectuals have been homosexuals and they have used their intelligence to bequeath greatness to the world. Alexander the Great led armies to defend ancient empires; Truman Capote defined innovative new styles of writing; Dom DeLuise gave laughter to the world in all its comedic forms. Our sexual preference doesn’t control who we are; what is most important is the choices we have and the actions we take. When we say “gay” in terms of anything we find stupid, a lot of people could be offended by such a simple little word that we take for granted.

Of course, when we use these expressions in our everyday conversations, no offense is taken because we use these words in front of our friends. No harm done. Even when we unknowingly say these words out in public, we say them unintentionally, but who knows how many people are listening and could be upset by our “normal” language? We don’t often stop and look around us to pay attention to the crowd because we tend to only really care about what our friends think of us. As a result, these phrases are coined and more and more people begin to use them. So what are we really doing when we say a word like “gay” jokingly? Well, we could be objectifying all homosexuals to fit a stereotype that just isn’t true.

Like homosexuals, people that come from poor areas are also being herded into a stereotype that isn’t a fair judgment. A common assumption concerning “ghetto” people is that they are uneducated and unworthy to fit in with the rest of society. According to Miriam Webster, a ghetto is “a portion of a city in which members of a minority group live especially because of social, legal, or economic pressure.” It was a term used to describe the Jewish quarters in German-occupied Europe during WWII. How is it that this word still continues to permeate our communities and still persist in targeting minority groups? It isn’t right to judge what we do not know. Often, these unjust stereotypes of people arise from a sense of fear, and it can be so easy to fear what we don’t understand. Along with assumptions of minimal education and unworthiness, people who live in ghettos are not shown the respect they deserve. We refer to these people as “ghetto” but we even use this term for objects of poor quality. We might look at our old, beat up cell-phone and call it “ghetto.” Instead of just using ghetto as a noun, we have broadened our use of this word as an adjective to describe anything of poor quality, and this is an unfair assumption that can be insulting to others.

Just as a gem can be found in the ghetto, a rape survivor can be found anywhere. Walking along a crowded street, we may laugh with our friends and make silly jokes about how a test raped us. But someone who has experienced the horror of rape might not get the joke. Sometimes, students use “rape” in reference to a really tough test, but this meaning has nothing to do with the real meaning of rape. A violent crime shouldn’t be taken so lightly in the context of everyday language. Rape victims have suffered the pain and agony of being forced upon and stripped of their human dignity. This is a feeling that a tough exam could never give us.

In the heat of the moment, we might say things we don’t mean, but we may also regret them later. As women moving into our next chapters of life, it’s time for us to mature and learn to watch what we say. Little things like this may be no big deal for us, but they might mean a lot to someone else. At times, it may be difficult to be conscious of everything that comes out of our mouths. By starting now, we might help influence a generation of kids that will become the generation of tomorrow’s leaders. Words can hurt, but you don’t have to.